100 ways to die
by theletterj
Summary: ...or just break an arm. TEMPORARY HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

Hi! So this is my latest project. The title is a little bit self explanatory, so I'm just going to say that this stretches across all generations and includes a lot of different characters. Some will be straight out of the books, and some will be out of my own demented mind. I am open to ideas so dare me anything. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights, only the hardback editions.

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#1. Jump of the roof of the Gryffindor Tower.

"I really, really hate you guys," said James Potter as he crawled out the window of his dormitory.

"Love you too Prongs," replied Sirius.

"Do I at least get my broom?"

"Nope, just a wand."

James cursed under his breath and stood up. He was on the roof of the Gryffindor Tower, looking down at the expansive Hogwarts grounds.

He took a deep breath, and…

"C'mon," Remus teased. "You call yourself a Gryffindor?"

"I'm going, I'm just…" James trailed off at the sight of his friends' faces.

"Sometime this century please," said Peter. James glared at him for about two seconds before… WHAM.

The impact of Sirius' hands not only made James topple off the roof, it knocked the wand out of his hand.

"Shit," was all the three boys could say as they watched their friend free-fall from at least one hundred feet.

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Professor McGonagall was walking briskly across the grounds when she heard a large amount of screaming and swearing coming from above. She looked up to see a figure plummeting from the heights of Gryffindor Tower.

There was barely time to whip out her wand and mutter a quick curse before James Potter tumbled to the ground.

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"That was a very foolish thing to do young man," Madame Pomfrey admonished as she examined James. "You would have suffered much worse than a broken arm if Minerva had not been walking by."

James groaned as she jabbed particularly hard. "There. You may go back to your common room now, but don't try anything else. I better not see you here for a while."

He hopped off the bed, only too happy to be out of there.

"Pumpkin Pasties" he said to the Fat Lady. The portrait hole swung open to reveal Sirius, Remus, and Peter standing there, all trying to disguise the evil glint in their eyes with very obviously phony looks of concern.

"I am never playing truth or dare with you lot again," James mumbled as he brushed past them and headed to the dormitory.

"Fine,"said Sirius grinning at Remus and Peter. "But we have to finish this game first."

"The game ends when one of us gets injured,"protested James.

"Oh but James, you haven't followed through yet. The dare was to _jump _off Gryffindor Tower."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Just to recap, this is a story that encourages reader participation. I would love to hear some of your ideas so I can include them in future chapters.

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will.

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#2. Let Professor McGonagall catch you sneaking out of the kitchens.

"Fred, I'm hungry," my twin brother complained.

I sighed and dropped my Potions essay. It was due tomorrow and I really had to do well. "Dinner was just an hour ago," I pointed out.

"I'm still hungry!"

I sighed and turned to my twin. "I'll go to the kitchens with you if you help me write my Potions essay afterwards."

"We have a Potions essay?" George asked in bewilderment.

I rolled my eyes at him, but in truth, I was weakening. We'd skipped the first half of dinner to plug the toilets in the fourth floor bathroom (something we'd wanted to do ever since summer when Dad taught us how toilets work) so I was still slightly hungry.

"I bet there's still some leftover treacle tart."

He knew me too well. I jumped out of the squashy armchair so fast it must have looked like I had a built-in spring. "I'm coming."

George snorted, but kindly didn't comment.

We arrived at the fruit portrait without incident and successfully entered. The house elves were as servile as ever, and brought us enough food for the entire Gryffindor house. I was just sitting down with a dish of treacle tart, when George glanced at his watch.

"Damn, it's already 9. We need to get back. If we get caught out of bed again Mum'll have a fit."

I looked at him in protest, my mouth full of treacle.

"You can take it back with you."

I finally managed to swallow and glared at my brother. "You were the one who wanted to come here so badly."

He just shrugged. I gave in and thanked the house elves before exiting the portrait/door with my dish.

The minute I stepped outside I knew we were in trouble. George and I stood outside the entrance, our pockets and hands filled with food, facing a very angry Professor McGonagall.

It seemed like hours before she spoke, and all I could think was _we're dead, we're dead, we're dead. _It was bad enough that we'd been caught, but by Professor McGonagall! Not to mention that, judging by how thin her mouth was, she probably had a pretty good idea of who was responsible for the flood on the fourth floor.

"Detention for a month and a letter to your parents."

As we climbed back up the stairs to the common room George said, "Wow, we got off easy. By the look on her face I thought she was going to set Mrs. Norris on us!"

"Yeah," I replied vaguely. Really, I had other things to think about. Like the fact that just before McGonagall spoke, I could have sworn I saw the corner of her mouth twitch, just a tiny bit.

And the Potions essay that I had roughly 10 hours to complete.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Please, please review. I am running out of ideas and _really_ want to know what you guys think.

Disclaimer: While I enjoy reading the books, the rights belong to JKR.

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#3. Try to get to the girls dormitory.

It was past midnight and Ron Weasley was still sitting in the Gryffindor common room trying to get through his Charms essay. In the armchair next to him slept his best friend, with his glasses askew and his half-finished charms essay falling on to the floor.

Ron leaned over and poked Harry on the shoulder. "Harry, wake up," he whispered. "I have a brilliant plan."

Harry straightened his glasses and peered at Ron suspiciously. He knew from experience that Ron's best plans didn't usually come to him at one in the morning. "So, obviously we need help," Ron said, sitting up straight and knocking his ink bottle all over his essay. "The only thing to do is- "

"Ask Flitwick to let us turn them in late?" Harry broke in with a yawn.

"-go get Hermione."

Harry was now fully awake and staring at Ron as if he had one eye. "Ron," Harry said in the sort of voice you'd use with a particularly slow three-year-old. "Hermione went to bed hours ago, and she'd kill us if we woke her up now."

"Aw, she'd understand," Ron said, with a kind of demented energy. "We really need help." Harry watched in awe as Ron galloped over to the staircase and called up, "Hermione!"

Nothing happened. "We're going to need to go up," Ron sighed. He yawned loudly and started climbing the stairs. When he reached the fifth step the stairs morphed into the stone slide and knocked Ron's feet out from under him.

"Forgot about that," Ron said amiably to his friend, who was still sitting in his chair, speechless with disbelief. "How about you levitate me up instead?"

Harry shook his head and turned back to his essay. He wanted absolutely no part in this idiocy. Five minutes later, there came a crash and a piercing, "OUCH!" Harry's head snapped up to see Ron collapsed in a heap at the foot of the slide clutching his wrist.

Sighing, Harry got up from his seat but stopped when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs (the slide had morphed back again).

Hermione, wrapped in a fluffy bathrobe, stood in front of Ron, who was still sprawled on the floor. "What the bloody hell are you lot doing?" she demanded. Harry winced. Hermione must have been really mad, as she rarely swore.

"Er...Ron was just...kinda...trying to get you to...uh...come downstairs so you could...er...could help us finish our essays?" Harry stuttered timidly, somehow making his sentence sound like a question.

Hermione looked like she was about to explode. "You tried to climb upstairs and WAKE ME UP at ONE IN THE MORNING just so I could help you with your CHARMS ESSAYS! Give me one reason why..."

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"...And that is how Ron ended up with a broken arm, and also why Harry and Ron are both falling asleep at the moment" Hermione finished. It was breakfast time and she was telling the events of the last night to Ginny, Dean, Seamus, and Neville, all of whom were laughing hysterically.

Harry looked up from his eggs. "The joke's on you Hermione. You did stay and help us."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thank you so much to **Alex274 **and **lolbuddy** for supporting me with a review. You guys really encouraged me, thanks!

To the anonymous reviewer who so kindly told me I was the worst writer s/he had ever seen "BEACUSE I HAVE MET KINDERGARTENERS WHO WRIGHT BETTER THAN YOU" I may be the worst writer you've ever seen, but at least I can spell "because" and "write" correctly. Also, in the future if you want to tell me how awful my writing is, could you maybe include why instead of just saying you hate it?

Disclaimer: As I have said 3 times already, don't own it, never will.

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#4. Insult Lily Evans in front of James Potter.

It was a lovely, sunny day in April, and the majority of Hogwarts students were gathered near the lake, taking advantage of the nice weather. Most of the students had divided by grade level, and over by the sixth years a brawl was breaking out.

Severus Snape and Lily Evans had been arguing loudly. The two former best friends were facing each other, Severus begging for something unintelligible, and Lily stubbornly refusing. Finally in his anger Snape called Lily a "stuck-up Mudblood".

James Potter had been sitting under a tree with Sirius Black, surprisingly quiet until this point. Lily barely had time to register what Severus had said to her before he was attacked from behind.

Severus was knocked onto the ground, by the force of James' spell, but quickly drew his wand and fired a Disarming charm at James. Now missing his wand, James resorted to physical assault. He leapt upon the Slytherin and began pummeling him with his fists, shouting "take it back".

The battle raged on for about two more minutes before Lily aimed a spell at the two. They were blasted apart, James with a nasty cut on his forehead, and Severus clutching his arm and moaning.

Lily gave Snape a look of utter disgust as two other Slytherin students dragged him away. Then she turned towards James. For a fleeting instant James imagined her face softened, just a tiny bit, but then she glared at him and said harshly, "I don't need you to protect me Potter." With that she turned on her heel and strode away.

Sirius and Remus came forward, both shaking their heads. "Bad luck Prongs," Sirius said.

James allowed his friends to lead him back towards the castle, and attempt to heal his wound, but he could not resist glancing back at the lake, thinking, "Someday, I'll make her understand."

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A/N: I know, it's short, it's almost exactly like the scene in the fifth book, and it's not even slightly humorous. Review anyway?


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thank you **AnEmeraldPoppy **for sending me a extremely nice review. You really made my day.

If anyone has any ideas or anything they'd like to see in this story, tell me and I will include it (as long as it's fanfiction appropriate).

Disclaimer: Last time I checked, I don't own the rights to Harry Potter. *checks* Nope, still don't.

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#5. Get stuck in the missing stair and attempt to get out on your own.

Neville was late to class, again. He knew he had to be really late because the corridors were completely empty. And he was completely lost. He was sure he'd never been to this part of the castle before.

How had this happened? Neville had left the Great Hall following Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They had been almost to Transfiguration when Neville tripped and fell. Then he was _positive_ he'd seen them turn a corner at the bottom of a staircase. So he'd followed them down the staircase but ended up in this strangely lit room.

It was very low down, close to the dungeons he was sure. The room was covered in skulls, and lit with a greenish light. Neville stumbled towards a door on the opposite of the room and knocked.

"Password?"came a disembodied voice.

Neville stared at it in shock, then turned and ran. He raced out of the room, up one staircase, across a corridor, around several corners and through a door. He was dimly aware of other people all around him, but was in such a state of horror he didn't give them a second thought.

He began running up another staircase and realized he recognized it. Just as the thought struck him, his left leg fell through the missing stair. Neville looked around desperately for help, but all the people who had previously been milling about had disappeared.

Neville looked straight ahead and tried not to cry. It had been a horrible day. Before he even got out of bed he overheard Seamus and Dean sniggering about how stupid his was. Then at breakfast he had received an angry letter from Gran, threatening him with a Howler if his Potions grade dropped below a D again. And now he would be incredibly late to Transfiguration, if he even managed to work himself free.

After several deep breaths, twenty minutes of pulling, a torn trouser leg, and an unfortunately broken book bag, Neville was free. He raced to the Transfiguration classroom, as he now knew where he was, and threw open the door.

"I'm really sorry I'm late Professor," Neville gasped. "I got lost and-"

He stopped short realizing that he was facing a classroom of 7th years, all staring at him, some in shock, some trying to hold back laughter. Professor McGonagall came forward, slowly taking in his disheveled appearance.

Neville was leaning against the doorway, fighting for breath and desperately trying to hold his bag together. The lower half of his trouser leg was torn off revealing a mess of scrapes and bruises, and an ink stain was spreading across his shirt from when his bag broke.

"Thank you for finally arriving at class Mr. Longbottom," Professor McGonagall said once she'd composed herself. "Unfortunately you should be in Defense agains the Dark Arts by now." She paused for a moment, scrutinizing his appearance. "You'll need to visit the hospital wing. You look half-dead."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Again thank you **AnEmeraldPoppy **for reviewing.

Disclaimer: This time nothing belongs to me. The characters are JK Rowling's and the idea is AnEmeraldPoppy's.

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#6 Throw a dungbomb into Percy's room.

Fred and George had been home less than two weeks and were already completely bored.

"Let's think for a second" said George finally. "If it weren't summer and we were at school, what would we be doing?"

They looked at each other and said in unison, "Pranking someone."

Just then Ginny came into the kitchen moaning,"I'm bo-ored."

Fred smiled evilly and asked,"Ginny, want to help us annoy Percy?" She looked at him for a moment and then nodded. The three of them put their heads together and soon came up with a plan.

"So," said Fred. "George and I will throw the dungbombs into Percy's room while Ginny distracts Mum, okay?" The other two nodded but Ginny looked slightly disgruntled.

"You lot always get to do the fun stuff," she muttered as she walked out of the kitchen.

The twins ran to grab their brooms and some of their large supply of dungbombs. They crept around the house and flew up to Percy's open window. Pressing themselves against the walls, so that they were not visible from the inside, they threw the dungbombs into their brother's room.

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At first Percy didn't notice the intrusion, so engrossed was he in the letter he was writing. Then the dungbombs began emitting a foul smelling smoke, and Percy lept up and raced to the window. He stuck his head out and looked around furtively, but the twins were already putting their brooms away.

Percy turned around just in time to see a flash of red hair before his door slammed shut. He glanced around his room, then raced to his desk. With one quick glance, he noticed what was missing.

The whole house heard his enraged roar.

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Fred and George sat in the kitchen listening to Percy scream. Then Ginny ran in, slightly out of breath. "I think Percy saw me,"she gasped.

The twins glanced at her. "You were supposed to be distracting Mum!" exclaimed George. "What were you doing that Percy could see you. You could have ruined this whole plan!"

Ginny shrugged. "Your plan was lame. And just because I'm younger than you lot doesn't mean I can't do anything fun. So I went to get this." She tossed something shiny at them.

Before any of them had time to leave the room a very angry Mrs. Weasley and an even angrier Percy walked in.

"It was Ginny, Mum. I swear," said Percy, pointing an accusing finger at his sister. "I saw her take my badge."

"Your badge is missing Perce?" asked Ginny far too innocently. Even though he'd graduated from Hogwarts, Percy still kept his Head Boy badge mounted on his desk. "It couldn't have been me, I was down here the entire time."

Percy narrowed his eyes and looked at each of his siblings in turn. Then he caught sight of the thing in George's hand. "My badge! See Mother, I told you they stole it!"

"It wasn't us," Fred protested.

"It was Ginny," George agreed. Mrs. Weasley shook her head. "Really boys, don't blame your sister. How did she throw dungbombs through Percy's window and steal his badge at the same time?"

Fred and George stared at their mother, nearly speechless. "You two can spend the rest of the week degnoming the garden, and taking care of the chickens. Now give Percy his badge."

Still in shock, George handed the badge to Percy, who sniffed and stormed out of the kitchen, followed by Mrs. Weasley. Ginny smiled sweetly and left the room as well.

"That little..." Fred trailed off, not quite able to finish.

"We underestimated her," said George. "We need something safe to do for the rest of the summer, something not involving our sister."

"Like, say inventing things for a joke shop..."

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A/N: So this was supposed to take place in the beginning of the summer after the third book. Sorry if you didn't get that. Review...please? And be sure to tell me anything you'd like to see here.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Many thanks to **AnEmeraldPoppy, Cherie O, **and **Charlotte** for making me smile with your review. Fewer thanks to **Julie** (I'm pretty sure you were the same rude reviewer from before) who sadly still cannot spell. (Enough has a U). Apparently she cannot use punctuation either (it's traditional to put a ? at the end of a question). And also, if my story is so bad you feel you must swear at me... STOP READING IT!

I'd also like to apologize for three things: 1. continuing to publicly argue with the reviewer I shall henceforth term as "the rude reviewer". If I had any other way to contact her I would. 2. The slow update. I had a weird error thing going on but it's good now. 3. The length of this author's note. Sorry! I had a lot to say.

Disclaimer: Sadly, the rights to Harry Potter still do not belong to me. Maybe one day...

**WARNING: This chapter will not make you laugh. It may make you cry. **

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#7 Fight your cousin to the death.

The sense of panic Sirius had felt when he found out his godson's location had completely disappeared. He was... happy.

For the first time in months Sirius was out of the house. In his childhood, the house had been almost as bad as Azkaban. To return there so soon after he had escaped from the actual prison had been nothing short of torture.

Sirius was jolted out of his unhappy thoughts when his cousin, Bellatrix engaged him in battle. She shot a couple Stunning spells at him, which he easily ducked.

All around them, battle raged, and Sirius laughed.

A fifteen year old boy fought evil men his father's age.

Sirius laughed.

The boy's friends lay dying in different corners of the building.

Sirius laughed.

Miles away, the two greatest wizards of all time prepared to battle at this location.

Sirius laughed.

"Come on, you can do better than that!"

The jet of light hit him square in the chest and Sirius laughed.

Sirius fell backwards, into the veil, and left the world.

Sirius laughed.

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**A/N: My goal here was to capture the sadness of Sirius' death, which is why it's so short. I was not trying to make him seem evil, I was just showing that many huge things were happening at the time of his death, but it still meant a lot. **


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thank you so much **lolbuddy, magicman22253, AnEmeraldPoppy, xxmudtailxx, OttoIsMyDog****, **and **ItsJustTheApocalypse** for your kind reviews.

Also, everyone who likes this story, please vote in the poll on my profile: Which story would you like me to write next?

**Disclaimer**: It all belongs to J.K. Rowling. I'd also like to give credit to Charlotte who requested this.

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#8 Dance.

The Fat Lady was asleep.

At nearly midnight, James Potter woke her and slipped into the Gryffindor common room.

"I really should leave you out there," the Fat Lady grumbled as she swung open. "Serve you right for waking me up at this hour."

James shrugged apologetically. As the Quidditch team got closer to their first match against Ravenclaw, James had become more and more stressed. He had forced the team to practice until they could no longer see each other, and then spent four hours strategizing in while the others went up to bed. Now, he crept into the common room as everyone else slept. Everyone except...

Lily Evans stood in the middle of the room with a note book cradled in one arm, twirling and humming to herself as she took notes from the textbook resting on a nearby table.

James smiled. He and Lily had finally started dating a few months ago, and despite everything, the war, the schoolwork, and Quidditch, James was happier than he'd ever been.

He stood there and watched her for a few minutes, before Lily looked up and noticed him.

"Oh, I didn't realize anyone was here," she said, abruptly stopping her dance.

James walked over to her and took one of her hands.

"I just got back from Quidditch. I haven't been here long." He gently removed the notebook from her hand and placed it on the table next to her textbook.

"No one should ever have to dance alone," he whispered, taking her other hand.

She raised her eyebrows. "You can dance?"

He smiled mischievously and twirled her in a circle. "Sort of."

They twirled, they leapt, they skipped. Both learned something surprisingly new that night. Both were quite good dancers.

Then James attempted to twirl Lilly under his arm. It was working quite well until Lily's foot caught on the edge of a chair. Both Lily and James tumbled to the ground.

"Lily!" James said pulling himself off her arm. "Lily, are you okay?" She was lying on the ground, clutching her wrist.

"I think it's broken," she whispered. James nodded looking rather flustered. "How do I fix it?"

Slowly, with Lily talking him through every step, James guided her to a chair and carefully fixed her wrist. He didn't do as well as Madame Pomfrey would've, but Lily could use her hand again.

When that trauma was over, James headed up to bed. "You should sleep too," he said to Lily who was picking up her notebook and quill.

"No, I have to study for this exam."

"Are you sure?" James asked. "That can be quite a dangerous activity."

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A/N: I've always imagined Lily as a free spirit. For those of you who think she was uptight... well, everyone's entitled to their opinion. My opinion is that you are wrong. Don't forget to review and vote in my poll!


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Thanks you **Imperatrix Nyx,** **OttoIsMyDog and lolbuddy **for reviewing the last chapter. But really, **542** people read this and TWO reviewed. That would be a big epic fail by the fanfiction community.

I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! I'll try to update much faster next time.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the rights to Harry Potter or the rights to this idea. It belongs to **xxmudtailxx.**

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#9 Sneak into the Slytherin common room.

A third year Ravenclaw had gone missing.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione had heard the Ravenclaws whispering about it. They sat in the common room, discussing it in low whispers and decided that Voldemort was probably responsible. Of course, no one else would bring themselves to admit this, as the Ministry was still claiming otherwise.

Harry spent the next week seething. Voldemort was out killing young students and still no one would accept the truth. He complained loudly about this to Ron and Hermione.

"Honestly," Harry spat at one point. "You'd think they'd admit it now that a _child_ has gone missing. It has to be Voldemort, who else could it be?" None of them noticed Draco Malfoy standing behind them with an expression of amusement, shock, and guilt all at the same time.

_Earlier that week..._

A group of Ravenclaws had been hanging out in the common room, playing a Muggle game: Truth or Dare. One of the fourth years was daring Lance Redrick, a third year he didn't particularly like.

"I dare you to sneak into the Slytherin common room," said the boy, grinning maliciously. "And, you can't use a Disillusionment charm. If one of the Slytherins sees you, you have to..."

"Tell them that you are their father in disguise" supplied one of his friends.

The boy quaked with fear, and was started to protest, but quickly swallowed his words. He may not have been a Gryffindor, but he still had his pride.

So, with all the boys who had been playing the game tailing him, Lance crept out of his common room and into the corridor. He looked around desperately for a moment, wondering how on earth he was going to find the Slytherin common room. Then, after a few minutes of pretending he knew where he was going, he spotted a Slytherin girl in the year below him. Sighing with relief, he followed her, hoping she was going back to the common room.

As luck would have it, the girl walked straight back to her common room without noticing the boy or his entourage. The girl spoke the password, and climbed through the door, giving Lance plenty of time to slip in after her.

He breathed a sigh of relief. He had fulfilled the dare. He turned to go right back out, but noticed, to his dismay, a small group of fifth years standing almost directly in front of the door.

After a moment's deliberation, the boy decided it was in his best interest to hide until the fifth years moved away. He crouched in a crevice where no one seemed to pay him any attention. Lance felt he must have sat there for hours before the group moved away. He raced to the door, running straight into one of the fifth years.

Draco Malfoy looked down at the boy's terrified face. "Watch it!" he snarled. Then he glanced at the boy's tie and robes. "What are you doing here? You're not a Slytherin." His lip curled in disgust.

Lance stared up at him, and somehow stuttered out "I-I'm your f-father in disuguise."

Draco looked shocked at first, but soon became furious. His lip curled back and his eyes glinted murderously. "You need to be taught a lesson."

The other boys never saw him come out of the common room. Eventually they figured they'd missed him and went back to the common room so as not to be late for curfew. Over the next week they were terrified. Should they tell someone? Flitwick? Dumbledore? Should they sneak into the common room to find him? In the end, they remained silent as children so often do in these situations.

One week later Lance was found in an old cabinet, looking very beaten up and claiming to have no memories of the incident.

From then on, everyone in Ravenclaw knew that if you sneak into the Slytherin common room and get caught by Draco Malfoy, you die.

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**A/N: So how was it? Review please? And vote in my poll! I have changed it a bit so PLEASE vote!**


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thank you to **thepotterfamily**, , **Imperatrix Nyx, **and **"a fan"** an anonymous reviewer who gave me FIVE reviews in one day. I love you for that and will definitely use all your great ideas. It's really thanks to you that I put this up because your many reviews made me smile.

**Disclaimer**: Credit for the amazing world that is Harry Potter goes to JKR, not me. Credit for this idea goes to **A****lyksDaughterofArtemisandHades !**

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#10 Tell your father you're dating his enemy's son.

Rose chewed her lip nervously. She stared down at the letter in her hands.

_Dear Rose, _

_We would love for you to bring your new boyfriend home for the Easter holidays. Your father and I are very excited to meet this young man. Please have Hugo write us to say whether he will come home or not. _

_Lots of Love,  
Mum_

Rose knew her mother really would love to meet Scorpius. After all, her mother had always advocated inter-house relationships. And while she and Scorpius were in the same house, their parents were about as against each other as they could get.

Which was exactly why Rose was nervous about having her father meet Scorpius. Ron Weasley had never really gotten over the rivalry between the Slytherins and the Gryffindors, and Rose was sure he would not approve of her new boyfriend.

"Did your mum write back?" Scorpius asked as Rose sat down at the breakfast table. Rose nodded and showed him the letter.

"Do you reckon your dad'll really kill me?" said Scorpius handing the letter back to Rose. Rose laughed, but it sounded rather forced.

"No."

"Really?"

Rose thought about that for a moment. "No."

Her boyfriend gulped.

* * *

Rose exited the Hogwarts express into Platform 9 3/4 for what would be the second to last time, she reflected. Just one more ride after this.

Scorpius Malfoy walked behind her, struggling to carry both their trunks, and his owl, and Rose's cat. Rose had of course offered to carry her own trunk, several times, but Scorpius had insisted. As the two jumped off the train, Rose began to look around for her parents.

She spotted her father leaning against the old, beaten up Ford Anglia, but her mother was nowhere in sight.

"Hi dad," said Rose, slightly apprehensive, as they approached her father. "Where's mum?"

"Your mum had to stay at work a little longer. She had some last minute paperwork. She said to tell you she's very sorry she couldn't meet you, but will be home by dinner."

Rose nodded and moved to open the boot, but was more than a little panicked inside. She'd been counting on having her mother there for at least the first introductions, to keep Ron from using any Unforgivable Curses.

Scorpius walked up, panting slightly from carrying his load, just as Ron asked "Weren't you bringing your boyfriend Rose?"

Rose nodded and gave her father a quick, but slightly pained smile. "He's here now."

Ron looked up. He scanned all the surrounding area, his eyes passing straight over Scorpius, despite the fact that he was still holding Rose's cat Bandylegs in a wicker crate.

"I don't see him Rosie."

Rose moved to put her hand on the boy's shoulder. "He's right in front of you dad."

Ron Weasley now looked straight at his daughter, who was very pointedly resting her hand on the shoulder of Scorpius Malfoy. Both children later swore that they saw Ron's hand move towards his wand. But Ron turned away and said, in a slightly cold voice, "Right, well shall we get going then? We can talk in the car."

With that somewhat ominous note, Ron slid into the driver's seat and slammed the door.

"That was scary," Scorpius whispered as he and Rose loaded their luggage into the boot.

"Well at least your not dead," said Rose. "Yet."


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Thanks **My Dear Professor McGonagall, Imperatrix Nyx, otto is my dog, ****A****lyksDaughterofArtemisandHades, **and CharlieBoox for your wonderful reviews.

PLEASE vote in the poll on my profile. I really want to know what you guys think.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. Not Harry Potter, and not this idea. The idea belongs to the fan I mentioned in the last chapter.

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#11 Forget a Truth or Dare experience with your friends.

James sprawled on his bed half reading his Potions textbook, half doodling in the margins.

Suddenly his best friend threw down the magazine he had been reading instead of doing homework. "I'm bored," Sirius announced.

"Mm." James responded. Sirius glared at him

"Let's do something fun," said Sirius. "Something... Marauder-ish."

"What would you suggest?" asked Remus looking up from the game of chess he was playing with Peter.

Sirius thought for a moment. "Pranking Snape?"

"No." James said immediately. All his friends stared at him. "Lily- I mean, we should stop doing that ."

Sirius flopped back on his bed dramatically. "Fine then I will waste away from boredom, because my best friend in the whole world is too lovesick to honor friendships and enemyships."

"Enemyships?" Remus asked skeptically. Sirius glared.

"What about," Peter spoke up for the first time. "truth or dare?"

The three other boys turned to look at him, making Peter stutter, "I-I mean if you lot don't w-want to we..."

"No," said Sirius grinning evilly. "Truth or Dare sounds great."

Peter beamed, but James sighed. "I seem to recall a certain day in third year, when Sirius made me jump off the roof, _twice, _and we all swore we'd never play Truth or Dare again."

"Please Prongsie?" Sirius knelt at the foot of James' bed, making a ridiculously exaggerated puppy dog face. "Pleeeease?"

James sighed and put down his book. "As if you lot would let me get any work done now."

Remus snorted. "You weren't working. You were drawing Snape hanging from a tree by his..." James cut him off with a glare.

"Shouldn't I get to go first?" asked James once they were all sitting on the ground in a circle.

Sirius looked like he was going to argue, but Remus nodded.

"Right, so Remus. Truth or Dare?"

Remus considered for a moment. "Truth."

James cursed quietly. "I can never think of anything good." He thought for a moment. "Alright, have you ever lied to any of us?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I lied to you about being a werewolf didn't I? Oh and once in fourth year I told Sirius that if he planted Bertie Bott's in the ground they would grow into Every Flavor Bean trees."

"It didn't work" Sirius muttered.

"Padfoot," said Remus, with a slightly evil grin. "Truth or Dare."

"DARE!" Sirius yelled.

Remus deflated slightly. "Okay, I dare you to go out to the corridor and find Mrs. Norris. When you do find her you have to, um, dye her fur bright blue."

"Fine." Sirius shrugged and ran down the stairs and out the portrait hole. Five minutes later, Sirius raced back into the dormitory, red in the face and quite out of breath.

"Did you do it?" asked Peter. Sirius just smiled.

"Now," said Sirius, rubbing his hands together in an awful imitation of a super-villan. "James, truth or dare."

"Dare," James responded without really thinking.

Sirius laughed, sounding like a cross between a mass-murderer and a dog. "You, Jamesie-poo, have to go down to the lake, and ride on the Giant Squid."

* * *

Ten minutes later James was swimming across the lake. Sirius, Remus, and Peter were lined up against the bank, with half of Gryffindor tower, as well as many Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs behind them.

James approached the Giant Squid, which was, thankfully, relaxing on the surface of the lake. He swam behind the monster and started to scramble up one of the tentacles. James was about halfway up the Giant Squid's back, when it woke, reared up and sent James flying.

Remus raced over to where James lay, having smashed through two trees. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes Moony, I just fell 60 feet, getting beaten by oak branches in the process and I am perfectly okay. I thought you were supposed to be the smart one."

Remus ignored the last comment and called Sirius over.

"Help me get him to the hospital wing."

With Sirius walking ahead of them, Remus levitated James up through the castle and to the hospital wing, where Madame Pomfrey immediately got him in bed.

"Broken ankle, wrist sprained or possibly broken, radius and ulna definitely fractured, a couple broken ribs, and some serious contusions. What on earth were you boys doing this time?"

The Marauders looked at each other, and decided to remain silent. Madam Pomfrey just shook her head and left to get some pepper-up potion.

James looked up from his hospital bed, straight at Sirius. "I have a new mortal enemy."

"Who?"

"Guess."

Sirius gulped.

* * *

Later that night, James was lying in the hospital bed (Madame Pomfrey had insisted he stay overnight) when Filch burst in.

"My-my cat! Someone has done this to my cat and I expect to see punishment!"


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Sorry this is so overdue! But thank you **Alyks **(I got tired of typing out your entire name), **OttoIsMyDog,** **Imperatrix Nyx, and TeamDean79. **I love you guys!

PLEASE vote in the poll on my profile. If I get well, ten votes, I'll stop asking. I also changed it, so if you want to change your vote but can't just PM me or tell me in a review. And also if you actually read this authors note, please PM me or review using the phrase "I stubbed my toe yesterday". I want to know if anyone actually reads these.

**Disclaimer**: Again, I own nothing. Not Harry Potter, and not this idea. The idea belongs to the fan I mentioned in the last chapter... just a slight change.

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#12 Mess with an All-Star Quidditch player.

Viktor Krum liked Hogwarts a lot. The castle was warmer and grander than Durmstrang, the climate was better, and the students were nicer. Or at least most students were.

As the Durmstrang students filed in to the Great Hall for breakfast, all the Hogwarts students looked up. Most of them looked away as the guests were already old news, but three sets of eyes stared straight at Krum.

Hermione, sitting next to Potter at the Gryffindor table was looked at her plate and blushed when she caught Krum's gaze. Her red-haired friend was sitting on the other side of Potter, and he was also staring at Krum. Well, staring wasn't really the word. More like, glaring.

Krum would have loved to sit with Hermione for breakfast, but the rest of his school was marching towards the Slytherin table, and Karkaroff had mandated that the Durmstrang students sit together. So, sighing to himself, Krum walked towards the third pair of staring eyes.

Draco Malfoy had previously idolized Krum. So now, his expression was caught between revulsion, admiration, confusion, and amusement. As Krum sat down next to him, Draco decided to act on instinct: confront Krum.

"Why were you with the Mudblood last night?" Draco asked, having restrained himself only until Krum had begun eating his sausages. Krum merely glanced at Draco, his mouth full of food.

"I mean," Draco continued confidently. "I don't understand why _you _of all people would have to go to the Yule Ball with someone with such poor blood, and ugly too. You're a famous Quidditch player! You could have gone with any girl but you still asked that-".

Draco continued to prattle on about how awful Hermione was, unaware of Krum's expression growing steadily darker.

Krum finished chewing his sausages and swallowed. He slowly rose partway out of his seat. "Herm-own-ninny is a beautiful girl. Never insult her again, and never use the vord 'Mudblood"or you vill regret it.

He spoke in a hushed voice that must have been slightly menacing because Malfoy paled considerably. Unfortunately his fear did not stop him from speaking his mind once more.

"But she's so ugly. And even if she were pretty why would you want to date a Mudblood?"

Krum stood up slowly and pulled out his wand. He said nothing, but Draco Malfoy flew off his bench and into the wall directly behind the Slytherin table. Krum glanced around the Great Hall. No one had noticed except for some of the other Slytherins, who were gathered around Draco, trying to get him to the hospital wing.

Still silent, Krum sat back down on the bench and continued to eat.

* * *

Draco lay in the hospital wing. He had hit his head when Krum threw him into the wall and was quite dizzy. His arm was broken and his back extremely sore.

He turned his head slightly to the left where Crabbe and Goyle sat eating a carton of Chocolate Frogs. Even that slight movement made his body ache.

"From now on," Draco groaned from his bed. "Mess with anyone, _anyone_, but Viktor Krum."


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I know, I know, it's been more than two months. So sorry, this story just isn't my top priority anymore. It's sort of a side project for when I'm bored.

Also, if you guys are making requests but don't see them here it's because I'm trying to figure out how to write them. I promise I'll use them eventually. And thank you **Imperatrix Nyx **and **My Dear Professor McGonagall**, for your lovely reviews.

**Disclaimer**: I'm getting really tired of saying I don't own Harry Potter. But it's still true. And this chapter was requested by **TeamDean97**, I just changed it a tiny bit.

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#13 Put Weasly's Wizard Wheezes wet-start, no-heat Fireworks in any potion you can find in Snape's office.

"Do they work?" was Fred's first question.

His twin shook his head. "I don't know yet. We need to test them out."

"Good thing we have potions class next."

* * *

The twins walked into potions class a little late, as usual. They took their seats in the back of the classroom and started pretending to listen to Snape's instructions. Apparently, they were supposed to be making Draught of the Living Death. Instead, Fred dumped some of the ingredients listed in the book into their cauldron, while George prepared the fireworks.

It had been Fred's idea to coat them in wax, easily removable, but still able to repel liquids. This way their bags wouldn't explode if they spilled water. Now George peeled of the wax coating, wrapped them in a dry cloth, and headed for the student supply cupboard.

"What do you think you are doing Weasley," Snape snapped.

"Just getting some more"- George glanced at the book resting on a nearby table- "lacewings, professor."

It was clear that Snape did not believe the lie, but there was nothing he could say.

Chuckling to himself, George slipped behind the wall separating the supply cupboard from the classroom. From this angle, no one could see what he was doing. It was very easy to walk past the cupboard into Snape's small office.

Working quickly, George unwrapped the three fireworks and dropped one into a mud colored potion, one into a potion that smelled like butterbeer, and one into a small amount of completely transparent potion.

It took about five minutes for the fireworks to go off, giving George just enough time to grab some lacewings as an alibi, walk casually back to his desk, and pretend to actually be working on the assignment.

The twins were stirring in some chopped up roots when the first potion exploded. By the time Snape had gotten to his office, the second potion had exploded. And once all the students were crowded at the door, the third potion exploded.

It was quite a sight: the three potions with fireworks in them were bursting out of the cauldron with such force other cauldrons were being knocked over and jars of potion ingredients were shattering. The floor was completely covered with a variety of mixtures, and every time two potions mixed together they would react violently and set of another explosion.

When finally the huge mess had settled, Snape turned to face the crowd of wide-eyed students.

"Get back to your seats," he snarled, causing the students to set a new record for the fastest race to the potions classroom in Hogwarts history.

When all the students were again stirring their potions, Snape walked calmly to the front of the classroom.

"Do not bother to bring me samples of your potions," he said in his normal calm, cold voice. "I am sure none of you have managed to produce something even close to what you were assigned. Weasley and Weasley - " here the class tittered because there was no way to say that without sounding ridiculous "- fifty points from Gryffindor and you can both report to my office tonight and every Saturday for the rest of the term. Class dismissed."

Fred turned to his twin, trying to hide his grin. "We are dead."

George smiled openly. "But it was worth it."

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**A/N:** God, that was awful. Review anyway?


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** Thank you so much to my wonderful, amazing, marvelous, reviewers. When I checked my email about an hour after posting the last chapter, my inbox was almost full of emails telling me I had a review or someone had added a story of mine to their favorites. So thank you **sephiesport****, mercurywriter, Haleylynnr1, HPluvsGW4eva, **and **OttoIsMyDog. **And also thanks to **WillowingEnds** for reviewing chapter 12. Sorry for forgetting about you!

**Disclaimer: **Does anyone actually read these? If it's really that important just check the last 13 chapters!

This chapter is dedicated to **Imperatrix Nyx.**

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#14. Join in Voldemort's "top-secret" conversation with his pet snake.

Tom Riddle was not the only descendant of Salazar Slytherin.

He was Slytherin's only heir to be sure, but there were other, less direct descendants. Indeed, pure-blooded wizards were so inbred, there were few pure-bloods who did not have any relation to Salazar Slytherin. These others, they too had inherited a few key traits from their infamous ancestor. One, was Slytherin's absolute insanity. The other important trait was, yes, the ability to speak in Parseltongue.

The two descendants who had Riddle most worried were, of course, Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange.

The Lestrange brothers would never have know they bore any relation to Slytherin, if they had not once overheard a conversation with Voldemort and Nagini, one that none of their fellows could hear.

The blood of the brothers would have been of no importance, if not for the fact that the "Dark Lord" made a habit of conversing with his snake during Death Eater gatherings.

There was one evening, that the brothers' ability caused a disturbance.

Th Dark Lord had been speaking to his followers, when he abruptly interrupted himself to say, what sounded like _hissssssss. _

Except to Rodolphus, Rabastan, and Nagini, who heard: _I have thought of another one._

The brothers looked between each other, confused, and then returned to listening.

V: _Knock-Knock_

N: _Who is there?_

V: _Boo._

N: _Boo who?_

V: _Do not cry. I loathe crying. _

N: _Very clever, my Lord._

The Lestranges stared at their master, not believing what they heard. Had Lord Voldemort really just told his pet snake a knock-knock joke?

Both brothers were too shocked to pay attention to the subsequent conversation, but Voldemort's soft chuckle snapped them out of their stupor. The brothers listened as their Lord and his snake exchanged knock-knock jokes.

Finally, Rabastan spoke up, in Parseltounge that is. _What do you get when you cross a hippogriff and a blast-ended skrewt?_

All members, even those who didn't understand what he was saying turned to stare at him. After an extremely awkward silence, Voldemort said, "We will meet here again when I send the signal. Lestrange, stay a moment. The rest of you are dismissed."

One by one, the Death Eaters disappeared, until only Rabastan was sitting at the cold stone table, across from his master.

"Lestrange, I am sure you know, that I wish to know why you chose to interrupt my _private_ conversation with Nagini."

"I apologize, My Lord."

"I did not ask for an apology Lestrange, I asked for the reason."

"My... My Lord I... I thought..."

"What did you think Lestrange? Did you think you were my equal, or perhaps above myself? Did you think that you had higher social status which gave you the right to say whatever you wished? Is that, what you thought Lestrange?"

"No My Lord, I am far below you. I could never hope to be your equal."

"And why is that Lestrange? I'm sure you know that your bloodline is as pure as mine, if not purer? Or do you not think that blood is important?"

"My Lord, you are far cleverer and far more skilled than I. You are supreme."

"If that is true Lestrange, why won't you answer my question?"

"I... I thought you might enjoy the joke My Lord."

"I see. Very well, finish it then."

"What do you get when you cross a hippogriff and a blast-ended skrewt?"

"I do not know?"

"Some very burnt feathers."

To this day, Rabastan is the only person to have heard Lord Voldemort roar with laughter.


End file.
